Wednesday, October 31, 2007
New meaning to hump day
My ex rays show that the curve in my neck has straightened out. and it leans to the right. Apparently not a good thing. It is causing a hump in my neck and back known as a Dowagers Hump. Happy hump day. Yeah, I know, lame joke.
I am in sticker shock and could use a good chuckle so don't be afraid to share any good joke with me. I had to take out a new loan (seriously) to pay for 84 visits. I have 3 visits per week for the next... I don't know how long. For the love of Pete!!! Someone make me laugh!! Sorry, I lean too easily on the drama.
I really am not too freaked out about it. I have known for years that I am not properly aligned. (Insert your own alignment joke here.) And, please, feel free to share. You can't hurt my feelings as long as you share the love too.
I also know that God will see to it that Ed and I are not in need. Ed is going through treatments for his knee at the same time. Ahhh, together time.
God has always provided for us and I believe He has a good plan for all of this. The good news is that now I know what has been causing the constant shoulder and upper back pain and making my arms and hands go all pins and needles in the middle of the night. And it is fixable.
So, my plan is to stay close to home until after the first of the year. That means I will be available to work in my studio if anyone is looking for a hairstylist. Hello!
Unless Spielberg calls me to come do hair on his next movie. Then, I'm outta here. Crooked neck, tingling hands and all.
I am also going to be involved in The Rock Christmas production. It is going to be amazing!! I get to sing a duet with one of the very talented singers in our choir / praise band. I don't want to give anything away but, trust me, this production will be way beyond average! You will be entertained, encouraged, touched and ready to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. Imagine.
OK. I might turn down Spielberg for this. Mark your calendar for Sunday, December 16. We will have a 10AM performance and a 6PM performance. Be there for one or both. You will not regret it.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Cuter and cuter

Monday, October 29, 2007
Comanche Moon
Saturday, October 27, 2007
LUCKY
Lisa loved the smell of this place. As she stood in line waiting for her turn to order her usual morning coffee she noticed that there were no familiar faces behind the counter. It appeared that there had been some changes made to the ordering process and the line was much longer than normal. A little annoyed, she glanced up to the overhead menu to make sure that hadn’t changed as well. Just then she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to see…
“Lucky!” she exclaimed and threw her arms around his neck.
“Hi Sis. Long time no see.” he said.
“I’ll say!” she chuckled. “I just can’t believe I am looking at you! You look fantastic.”
It felt to Lisa like they were the only two people in the coffee shop. Her heart was pounding with joy at the delight of seeing this brother that she missed for so long. He had a way of disappearing from the family for months at a time but this time had been ten long years. And yet, he looked young and vibrantly healthy. He looked very different from the last time she had seen him. There was something she had never seen before in the eyes of this previously tortured soul.
“I know there are a hundred things running through your mind right now.” he said, breaking the spell of the moment. Lisa had made up her mind in an instant that she was going to blow off work for as long as she and her brother could spend together.
“I think of you often. Sometimes I play over our last conversations in my mind and hope that I said all the right things.” Lisa was feeling a bit awkward. “I really wanted to see you paint the mural on the wall at the playground like you had planned. That was such a positive and ambitious goal. I know it would have been beautiful and it would have made the children so happy.” she babbled excitedly as they both took a step forward in the line. She thought about some of the imaginative paintings her talented brother had created.
“That was the clearest my mind had been in a long time and I knew exactly what the mural would look like. I just wanted to give something back. It seemed like the place to start giving was to the kids.” Lucky’s smile was warm and genuine.
“What it is like?” Lisa almost whispered.
“I knew you would ask me that” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “I spent the longest time just standing there. Staring. It is not possible to drink it all in with your understanding. I don’t know how I can describe to you what it is like to look at the Lamb on the Throne or to hear the angels singing. Everything has a feel to it, even the air itself. It lands on your skin like a soft, fine mist. It feels like … love… acceptance. It is everything you promised it would be and more.”
These words were coming from a man who knew heart ache and rejection.
His given name was, Paul Joseph Palombi, Jr. He was named after his father who deserted his family when Paul, Jr. was in high school. After a failed marriage of his own and a dishonorable discharge from the Army, Paul served two years in a NY prison for armed robbery in the 1960s. A year or so after his release he joined an outlaw motorcycle club called the Devil’s Disciples. It was during this time that he acquired the name which he would be called for the rest of his life.
He had been caught shoplifting and in an attempt to dodge the store manager who was chasing him, Paul ran away from the store. The unfortunate thing was that he left his motorcycle parked in front of the store and someone recognized it as the shoplifter’s. The police impounded the motorcycle and instead of turning himself in and getting his bike back, Lucky and his friends decided to steal his bike back. They all got caught and they all were arrested and Lucky had to sell his motorcycle in order to pay for a lawyer. It did not take a Rhodes Scholar to see a pattern here. Someone in the club decided that a fitting name for this unfortunate misfit should be Lucky. There you have it; a legend was born.
He moved his way up in the ranks of the Devil’s Disciples until he was arrested again. Lucky and his brothers in the club were selling drugs out of their clubhouse. A federal agent tried to befriend them and infiltrate the operation but the guys found out what he was up to. They tied him up and forced him to drink from a bottle of wine telling him that it was laced with their best LSD. They then placed the frantic agent in the trunk of Lucky’s car and drove him around Boston for a couple of hours before releasing him. He immediately made his way to the nearest hospital and identified himself while insisting that the doctors pump his stomach. He instructed the medical personnel to keep the contents of his stomach as evidence. To his dismay, the contents revealed a mixture of Bali Hai wine and Bayer aspirin. Lucky went to prison for six years on charges of kidnapping. When he came out, the club that he felt such a part of had completely changed and he didn’t fit in anymore.
Lisa had gone from being his little Sis to being one of his drinking buddies. They came from a dysfunctional family and these two siblings used their offbeat senses of humor and their talents to get them through life.
Both had become alcoholic at a young age but Lisa reached the end of her rope first. To her brother’s surprise, she went to Alcoholics Anonymous, got sober and stayed that way. Five years later, she had a spiritual awakening, gave her life to Jesus, met a decent, sober man and got married.
Lucky continued to drink to excess. He was a shattered soul who had a hard time holding down a job. At one low point of his life, he worked in a bar and lived in his panel van.
One night, Lisa was at a Gospel Music concert and she was touched by a song titled, “Don’t call me lucky; call me blessed.” It was as if God was answering her prayers for her brother by telling her what to pray for. She knew, first hand, that God could change the very nature of a person. She was living proof of that fact. Other stories rang in her memory of Abram being changed in name and nature to Abraham; Sarai to Sarah; Jacob to Israel; Saul to Paul. Lisa began to pray that God would change her brother from Lucky to Blessed. She asked God to change the name and the nature of the lonely, mixed up man.
The last time Lisa and Lucky spoke was over the phone. He was living in Boston, Mass. and she was in North Carolina. The doctors told Lucky that he had a very aggressive form of cancer in his throat. Radiation therapy had burned him so badly it resulted in a tracheotomy. His physician gave him the bad news that they had done all they could. He called his sister to tell her.
When she got the devastating report, her first thought was, “Where will my brother spend eternity?”
She screwed up her courage and said, “Lucky, the most important thing you can do now is make sure you are all right with God.” The silence on his end of the phone felt like an eternity. Lisa knew it was painful for him to talk through the tracheotomy, so she was trying to give him some time.
“I don’t think that God is so mad at me that He won’t let me fish in the big pond when I get there.” he finally responded.
“Are you sure you are going to get there?”
“I believe in God. I’m just not sure if he believes in me.” Lucky confided.
Lisa thought that was the saddest thing she had ever heard. She understood how he felt and, immediately, the Bible story about the thief on the cross came to her mind. She told her brother about how the condemned man had messed up so badly that he was being put to death for the crimes he had committed.
“God believed in him, Lucky and you ain’t no badder than him.” She had slipped back into her street jargon but it was a language they both understood. “And Jesus promised that criminal that he would be in Heaven that very day!” Lucky realized that he was not so unique. He saw that there was hope and he made a decision to believe that Jesus knew all about this man called Lucky and yet, still loved him enough to want to forgive him of all his sins.
Because he had talked for so long, his throat was in a great deal of pain so Lisa offered to pray on his behalf. She told him that she wanted this prayer to reflect his own words to God, so if she said anything that he did not agree with, he should stop her. Lisa prayed and at the end of the prayer she heard her brother croak the word, “Amen.”
Lisa had been so lost in all these memories that she was startled by the sound of a buzzer. She was quickly brought back to her place in the coffee shop.
“When did they get a buzzer in this place?” Lisa turned her attention to the young man behind the coffee counter. He was ceaselessly pushing the annoying buzzer. Lisa thought she saw yellow numbers reflecting off his forehead. Turning around to see where the reflection was coming from, she saw her alarm clock blinking a yellow 6:55AM.
Lisa sat up in the bed, realizing that she had been dreaming. She looked at her clock again which also showed today’s date. It was June 10, 2005. Ten years to the day when she received the phone call telling her that her brother Lucky had been found dead in his Boston apartment.
Filled with gratitude for the gentle, loving way that God reminded her of the things that really matter, Lisa started her day with prayer.
“Thank You, Lord, for displaying to me that You have the grace to transform the life of a man who never should have been called Lucky. You never abandoned Your child. You knew his real name from the beginning of time and You have called him Blessed.”
In the recesses of her mind, she heard a strong, sure voice say, “Amen.”
PS. Most of this story is true. I am missing my brother today so I wanted to share it. Thanks for hanging in to the end.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Reality Check
BUT…. Oh my, what a turn of events on BL!!! Human nature fascinates me. Living my whole life with feelings of rejection and not being worthy of someones loyalty and love is, no doubt, the reason that I watch life with the eyes that I do. And, WOW, what these eyes saw last night. It would take far too long to go into all the events that led up to last night’s episode so I will attempt to paint you a snapshot picture of the debacle that haunts me today.
We are into week 5 or 6 of the contest and this week they split up the teams that had all begun together. Now, the teams consist of 3 members each and not everyone is happy about the break up. Apparently, the former blue team made a pact with each other that they would do everything possible to make sure that a blue team member would be the winner in the end. Not an awful thing to think, maybe even a bit noble. Oh nay-nay.
One of the blue team, Neal, has been put on the team with 2 former black team members. It was a tough week with a lot of drama going on and every contestant had their struggles. The trainers are amazing to me. They attempt to push these dis-functional fatties into a healthy lifestyle by teaching, nurturing or demanding, whatever the need may be. I respect the trainers for their ethics and desire to see unhealthy folks acquire healthy living skills and thereby not die an early death due to complications from obesity. I admire the courage of the Losers. They push themselves beyond what they think they are capable of and discover great, positive things about themselves along the way. I cannot imagine the courage it takes to take off your shirt on national TV and let the world see what 100 lbs of over-weight looks like on you. These folks inspire me in my constant weight struggle and help me to see positive things in myself too.
The weigh in is the coup de gra. The team that loses the lowest percentage of weight has to eliminate a team member. The catch is that all the other teams get to vote who should be voted off the losing team.
Neal decided to sandbag the results of the weigh in by drinking 2 gallons of water right before. He gained 16 pounds!!! Blue team members who are now in other groups were all in on this plan and they voted off one of the other members. I hope you are following this because this is astounding to me how many people are affected by this dishonest, conniving behavior. The poor guy that got voted off is the one who formed the teams and, unwittingly, brought Neal onto his team thinking he would gain an advantage. Betrayed at the end. Every contestant is realizing the GAME just took on a new twist. Neal is the shnook that brought it to another level. I am so mad at him you would think he was a relative! (joke) Everyone else in the GAME caught on to the rouse and, trainers and contestants alike, have voiced a disdain for what he has done. Neal’s defense is that this is a GAME and the GAME is on. Let’s just say, Neal is not going to win the popularity vote. His trainer, Bob, was so mad that he had to be bleeped a few times before he stormed out of the room. He felt betrayed and that his integrity had been compromised. One other trainer told him he disgusted her because he was messing with peoples lives. Ouch!
Soooo, life lesson anyone??
Be careful of the promises you make and the oaths you take, no matter how valliant they sound at the time.
Your character is who you really are. Your reputation is merely who people think you are.
I have been Neal.
I would like to think that I could not be Neal again.
If I were the guy voted off and Neal repented, how long would it take me to forgive?
If Neal never repented, how long would it take me to forgive?
The world is full of Neals. I don’t like that I believe this last one.
Leave me some of your thoughts on this one. I think it is chock full of life lessons.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
No drought about it


Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Three of my favorite things

I love a pink sky at sunset. Got this from my front yard.

Ever vigilant, ever watchful guard dogs. Keeping me safe from intruders in my office. In reality. just hanging out with Momma.

Monday, October 15, 2007
Only a dozen.
- Refusing to forgive keeps me in bondage to the offense, making me a prisoner of the pain.
- Sometimes it is wisest to forgive without ever seeing the person again. Never put ourselves in physical danger. Use wisdom.
- Sometimes we can forgive without speaking to the person again. Manipulators who are forgiven will still manipulate.
- Forgiving someone does not mean I am responsible to help them see the error of their ways.
- Keeping numbers 2 and 3 in mind,; it is possible to forgive someone who has passed away.
- Some people do not deserve to be forgiven by any rational standard. Forgive them anyway.
- Resentment in the Latin means to feel again. When I allow a resentment to remain, I am feeling the hurt all over again each time I think of it. And I think of it a lot. It is mental torture.
- Just because we haven't completely forgotten the pain does not mean that we have not truly forgiven.
- Forgiving is not a feeling, it is a decision.
- Unforgiving requires a hardened heart and hard hearts don't hear God so well.
- Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation for Thine is the kingdom and the glory and power forever.
- Sometimes I can be the one who is big enough to forgive; sometimes I need someone to be big enough to forgive me.
I am forgiven. I am forgiving. I am moving forward.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Saturday in the land of A.D.D.
I did not realize that A.D.D. even existed until I was in my 40s. Then, I heard a talk show on Christian radio explaining this behavior. I don't believe it is a disease or a disorder. It is just the way some people are wired for goodness sakes. Calm down people! (Not you, the ones who keep looking for new diseases.)
Anyway, as I was listening, I said, THAT"S ME! Now that I have a little understanding of it, I find myself able to reign my thoughts in more often. I am able to start and finish something. I am capable of getting work done and have even discovered that I can run a hair department on a tv series or movie. Amazing! I discovered that I do not have secretarial skills or organizational skills but I have best friends that do have those skills. I am an idea person and an artsy fartsy person but I can get bogged down if I have to go through too many hoops to accomplish something. Then, my mind wanders and I find something else to do.
Today, I got caught up in the yard...again. I cut back my 4 rose bushes and moved a few potted plants around and put white stones around my backyard rose bush and sprayed weed killer in the beds and played with the dogs and colored my hair and showered and styled my hair. All that after I made oatmeal and raisins and ate with Ed and let the dogs out and let the dogs in and tidyed up the kitchen. Then I started reading some blogs and started writing this. Now, I have to go get my make-up on and get dressed for the Every Woman meeting in an hour. I said I would be one of the greeters. This meeting is called a Challenge and tells me I might be using some skills I might not know I have. I am up for a Challenge, just hope I don't have to organize something.
That's all for today. Remember, Just keep breathing.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
day after hump day/brain dump
- note to self: Garlic lover's humus + chocolate soy pudding = tummy ache (p.s. with or without whipped cream)
- I am getting the hang of this unemployed thing. Kinda digging it.
- I am very excited that I will be in Wilmington for our Christmas presentation with Glory Academy of Fine Arts. Big production.
- Our Creative Arts team is awesome. I get to participate this year: doing hair and singing somewhere. Two of my favorite things to do.
- Ed got a shot of oil right in his knee joint today. Didn't even cry (very long). teehee. I am glad I was home to go with him and to do the driving.
- Our family physician belongs on a reality show. He is a trip.
- Port City Java House Blend is strong coffee.
- I love hanging out with my dogs. They love me even when I act like a jerk.
- Sounds like the screenwriters are going on strike soon. Might be out of work for a while.
- Matthew 6:34 Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own.
- Bill Wilson (co-founder of AA) was very wise to say, "Live one day at a time."
- Nancy K. puts it this way: "Don't make tomorrow's check due today."
- Worry stinks.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
comment away!
Anyway, Some of you have informed me that you coould not leave a comment without a Google account or something. I just changed some of my settings so you don't have to sign in to leave a comment. Now... let me have it.
I gotta go lay down first. Not feeling to good. :(
Relationship

I love coffee in the morning!
Look PA, I did this w/out a Mac. Just teasing because I am a little jealous of your Mac.
Lately, I have been thinking about relationships. Family, friends, co-workers and church family.
My marriage is my most important relationship for sure. Ed and I can finish each others sentences and sometimes, read each others minds. That can be scary but it is so good to have a human who knows me so well and loves me anyway. We made a commitment to each other that, no matter what, we would stick by each other until the end. We turned that promise into a covenant when we invited Jesus to be the Head of our marriage. Now, 25 years later, we are still devoted to seeing the best in one another and sacrificing our own wants for our partners wants and needs. Aw, we don't get it right every day and in every situation, but we just keep trucking. It is a difficult thing, to put someone else before your self; some days it seems like trial and error. Mostly error.
When I decided to go on the interferon/ribaviron treatment for Hepatitis C, Ed was behind my decision 110%. It meant me taking meds that had me sick, listless, depressed and grumpy for 6 months. Then came another 6 months of recovery time. The man is a saint! I lost 35 pounds and 50% of my hair. As I would lay on the couch, near tears because even my skin hurt, he would tell me I was beautiful and that he loved me. Every day! He prayed over me every night too. He was my rock. I love you and I trust you with my life Eddie.
That was in 2004. My Pastor prayed over me at the end of my treatments and he asked the Lord to go further than putting me in remission, which is what the doctors told me my results could be. My Pastor had faith to believe and ask the Lord to wipe the hepatitis out of my system entirely and completely heal me. Today, I am still Hep free and my doctors have declared me healed. Hallelujah! I love You and I trust You with my life Jesus.
Family and friends were also praying for me during that time. Fawn called and prayed with me over the phone sometimes. What a blessing to have a kiddo who knows God. Some folks sent me cards, plants or flowers. We went to a small group pretty regularly and shared some sweet fellowship and more prayer. (Hey, faith and prayer are two of the highest common denominators in sick people getting well.) Other friends came over to play cards with me and Ed, even though my mind was so affected that I forgot what a pinochle was. My partner would shake her head sometimes at the cards I would play, but I knew she loved me anyway. She is my best friend. The day that I decided that she was a keeper was also set around a health issue.
Maybe I will go into that one next time. I don't want to sound like one of the old folks at the nursing home telling hospital stories. "Wanna see my scar from my last surgery?" No thanks.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Got humor?
I have discovered that I like redneck humor. Who would have thunk it? One of my favorite comedians has to be Larry the Cable Guy. I know, right? Some of his humor can be off color but the observations he makes about life and the humor he pulls out of those observations resonate with me until I am laughing my butt off. The topics he finds humor in are real life, every day situations. When he starts one of his stories, I find myself nodding my little bobble head in understanding agreement with family relationships or shopping experiences. Yep, got an uncle just like that or mm hm, seen that before. And then I am bellowing at the punch line. He wraps up some of his funniest stories by saying, "I don't care who you are. That right there is funny."
Sometimes it helps me to cope when I can see the humor in human nature. We all have our foibles. Like the propensity I have to worry about things every now and then. For instance, this week I was thinking, "have I lost my mind to turn down every possible job on the horizon that didn't turn me down first?" "Will I ever work on a film again?" "What if I can't keep my health insurance?" These are the thoughts folks, and that spells w-o-r-r-y.
God speaks to me in ways that I can understand and sometimes He makes me laugh out loud. Today He said:
"I don't care who you are. This right here is truth;
Who of you can add a single hour to your life by worrying?"
Can't say that I am bellowing in agreement, but I do get the point.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Hump Day Birthday Brain Dump
- OMG I am 55 years old.
- Man, I look good for 55.
- Nothing can take the place of your Mom saying Happy Birthday. I miss her today.
- A daughter that sends a goofy card and a husband that sings off key and gives roses sure do make a heart feel better.
- Dinner in a nice Italian restaraunt with best friends tonight.
- It is late afternoon and I haven't showered yet. I love me a lazy day.
- My dogs bring me joy.
- This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.
- Be real. Walk in the blessing.
Ciao for now.